An Update with one of RWNM's Real Couples!
On February 23, 2007, Elena Cardona and Liz Quinones were one of the first couples in New Jersey to enter into a legally recognized civil union. They were also the first couple ever to be featured on the cover of RainbowWeddingNetwork Magazine!
2009 finds Elena, Liz and their family celebrating another exciting milestone. Congratulations, Quinones Family!
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RWN Magazine (RWNM): Tell us a little bit about your relationship as it is today, now that you two have journeyed together through friendship, romance, a historic civil union celebration, been newlyweds... and now look toward your future.
Elena (EQ): Since we had the ceremony for our Civil Union, life has just been wonderful. You never really realize how much one day (meaning our Wedding Day) really does mean to you until you have finally done it. I will never forget how Liz used to tell me when we were just friends that she would never get married, but if you ask her that same question today her answer would be that she would do it over and over again if we could. It meant that much.
It wasn't long after our Wedding -actually March of 2007, to be exact- that we started talking and thinking about adding a little someone to our family. I have biological children of my own, who we are raising together and Liz has been in their lives for many years. But we had never shared the experience from the beginning and Liz has no children of her own. So we both decided that it would be the perfect completion to our family. So our journey began.
RWNM: What metaphor would you use to describe the process of becoming pregnant? What were some of the high and low points of the journey to your successful conception?
EQ: The best way to describe our process of becoming pregnant is a long, scary roller coaster, which we almost jumped off of plenty of times! We are so happy that we had the courage to hold on.
We don't think that there was anything that could have prepared us for what was ahead. We decided to take Liz's egg with a donor sperm and have me (Elena) carry the baby. This process sounds a lot easier then it really is. We both had to take shots in our stomachs everyday for about two weeks to prepare our bodies for the process. We were extremely blessed to become pregnant after just two attempts. But our happiness was cut short when, due to the stress of losing my only brother at just 27 years old, we also lost the pregnancy.
We decided it would be best to take a break for a couple of months before trying again. We decided to switch doctors and start fresh. To make a really long and tumultuous story short, after about 8 more attempts, several heartbreaks and so much more, our dreams were almost coming true. We found out that we were pregnant in July 2008!
RWNM: Would you mind sharing a bit more about the process of conception and the pregnancy itself?
EQ: It was something you can’t even describe I guess, or prepare yourself for. I didn’t plan my other kids and here I am doing it the ‘right’ way (getting married, actively planning to have another child…) and we had so much trouble. And still, even trying 10 times like we did was actually under the average.
My mom was so supportive – without her we wouldn’t have been able to do this. She took care of our older kids when I was put on bedrest. And everytime I went to the house to see them, she took pictures of my belly and of all of us together.
I actually lost my stepdad to lung cancer two weeks after we got pregnant the second time. It was so hard, because those last two weeks of his life he was in the hospital and I was not able to see him, because of the risk with the pregnancy. He was the only grandpa my kids have ever known; he actually attended our wedding against doctor’s orders (he had pneumonia at that time…) He’s been there for us all along. Losing him was so difficult.
Liz Quinones (LQ): I just kept whispering to her, ‘Don’t get stressed, don’t get stressed.’ We didn’t want to lose this baby too.
RWNM: As a couple you’ve been through so many unexpected challenges throughout the process of this conception. Your family has been through so much too. Our condolences.
EQ: Thank you.
